How to Tell Your Partner What You Want

Frame preferences as useful information, not criticism. Say what you enjoy, describe what you would like more of, and invite your partner to share their own preferences too.

Be specific without grading them

“I like it when…” usually creates more room for connection than comparing your partner with an ideal or focusing only on what is wrong.

Make room for a no

A request is not consent. Your partner can decline, suggest a variation or ask to revisit it later. You have the same right.

For a broader conversation framework, read how to talk about sex.